Monday, September 12, 2011

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."




So a few days ago I came across an article about how hard it is for women to accept compliments.  It struck a chord with me because I'm TOTALLY that woman.  "I like your dress" "Oh, I got it on the sale rack at White House Black Market".  "You don't need to lose weight, you look great!" "Well, I'm still 13lbs heavier than I was 5 years ago.", etc etc etc.

I mean, sure...some of this is modesty, but I really don't always think I deserve the compliments.  Sometimes, to me, simply saying "Thank you" for a compliment is the same as saying "Yeah, I know"...when I suppose that it isn't.  So what I tend to try to do is compliment the person back. But what if I can't?  Argh.  I don't know how to navigate the compliment waters.

For example: Today I'm starting the two-week Special K Challenge with a friend/coworker.  I've done the challenge before, and coupled with walking/running, I did lose 6lbs in 2 weeks.  Plus, the shakes are awesome and it's nice and flexible for me.  Anyway, I mentioned it last night with my a cappella group (because I may have also mentioned I pretty much single-handedly manhandled two bottles of chardonnay at a wedding on Saturday...I'm lucky I'm a fun drunk).  I nearly got bitch-slapped by the girl next to me saying I didn't need to lose anything.  The problem is, the weight is probably fine...it's the damn squish I hate so much.  So, I point it out my nice (shrinking) inner tube around my waist.  Why couldn't I have just said "Oh, well, thank you for the compliment, but I'm still going to try this challenge and see how it goes" or something along those lines?  I had to verbally bash myself, and I'm not quite sure why.

So, ladies, how do you accept compliments?  Do you accept them at all?  Are you like me and totally guilty of pointing out your flaws when someone doesn't even see them?

Conversely, guys, how does it make you feel when you compliment a woman and she brushes it off in the way  I described?

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