How do you listen to music?

(I had a really awesome cartoon from a cool music cartoon website here, but they charge a fee to let people post them on their blogs, even if proper credit is given.  Srsly?  There goes your free advertising, artist who shall remain nameless since it'd cost me $10 to use your damn cartoon.)

Someone put it in my head last week to start reviewing music on my blog, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.  It sounds like a great idea, and it'd give me chance to listen to music I wouldn't normally get to hear.

First, a bit about me as a music "listener":  
I'm predictable and a purist.  Pandora must think I'm the easiest person to come up with songs for.  iTunes' Genius could have an IQ under 100 and still be able to predict what I would like.  I'm so in my niche that artists I follow eventually tour together.  It's a big incestuous musical relationship and I love it.

I dig:
Singer/songwriters.  Heavy acoustic guitar tunes. Pianos.  Solid beats.  Creative lyrics (that MEAN something).  Jazzy chords.  Bass drum. Solid vocals (the fewer "runs" the better).

I pay particular attention to (recent artists):
Augustana
Tyrone Wells
The Damnwells
Colbie Callait
Jason Mraz
Trevor Hall
Gavin DeGraw
Sara Bareilles
Ingrid Michaelson
Mat Kearney
Pink
Matt Nathanson
Brett Dennen
Michelle Branch
Andrew Allen
Jason Reeves
Ron Pope
Chris Ayer
Ben Folds
Matchbox Twenty
U2
Maroon 5

etc etc etc

It's not that I don't branch out, because if someone sends me something, I for sure listen to it, which goes into
"How" I listen to music:  
If I'm buying an album, I listen to the album once, straight through, start to finish, no interruptions.  I make sure I have enough time for this before I even touch a song on it.  Living in a city where you can take public transportation makes this easy enough for me, but it should be something a music "observer" makes the time for.  I think this is the way you should listen to albums.  The album has an order for a reason...the artist is telling you a story, not only through each individual song, but in the album as a whole.  I think you can only appreciate this artistic ebb and flow if you devote the time to listen to it that way.  What irritates me about things these days is that people don't have the attention span to listen to the art, the story, the heart behind the music.  In my world, patience and attention is the only way by which one can truly appreciate music.

Where I see live shows:
I like small venues, which is why I tend to seek out new artists, or artists that aren't on the "main screen" yet (see list above).  It's easier to feel like part of the music when you're in a smaller performance space (at least, I think so).  Plus, the lower ticket fees helps me see more shows.  :) 
And, I'll mention this: a lot of the artists I mentioned above have done "moderately" well with their albums.  ALL of the people on my list are amazing live.  In fact, I'd say most of them I prefer live to listening to their albums.  For example: Augustana's Shot in the Dark off their latest (self-titled) album. I loved this song the first time I listened to the album, but I happened to catch this version on YouTube (that, funny enough, a friend of mine at KINK radio in Portland recorded).  Words can't express how much I love the second version more.  There's something gritty about Dan Layus' voice that you just can't "feel" on the albums.
I wish all of my artists would put out a live album.  Then they'd be really famous, making millions, and playing big venues (...wait...).
There's something powerful in a live performer, and there's so much to it to me that I'll never be a fan of the artists that lip-sync during their shows or sound over-produced on their albums (*cough* Britney Spears, Black Eyed Peas *cough*).

I have a Spotify account now at the urging of a friend (Scott Velazco), who, by the way, is also my dealer when it comes to my musical addiction.  He's my personal Pandora.  I look forward to learning more about it and sharing that with you as we move along here.

So there you have it.  Me, musically, in a nutshell.  I wanted to do this so you'd know where I was coming from as I take a stab at reviewing music.  My goal for my next blog will be to write a proper review of the latest album I purchased (sneak peek: I love.).  Stay "tuned"!

In the meantime...do you have an album you love you think I need to hear?  What sort of music speaks to you?

Do you have a soundtrack?

I've been mulling over this blog the past few days.  Honestly, I really don't think that it's working the way I want it to and I need to change it up.  No one is going to listen to someone with a "normal" BMI bitch about her struggle with the last 5-7lbs, or how much I hate running (which, by the way, I HATE running).  Honestly, I don't even want to listen to it.  It's not funny...it's not me.

In my first blog, I mentioned being a Jack of all trades...and I think I am.  I don't do one thing particularly well, but I know all sorts of things about all different kinds of things.  But if I had to pick one thing I know most about, it'd be music.  I can sort of read music (as long as you don't give me a bass clef), I enjoy singing, I played the violin for 13 years, and I'm obviously learning how to play guitar.  I love listening to music, going to concerts, festivals, coffee houses with live music...anything really.  Music is my favorite thing.

My blog about my guitar lessons was by far my favorite to write about...it came easily to me and it was about something I love (and George is an easy target).  I even picked my blog title because it was a scene from a movie: "Iris, if you were a melody...I used only the good notes"...even that is a music reference.  So, if you like singer/songwriters, finding new music, and like me, your life follows a soundtrack, I welcome you aboard.

So, here I go...to take you on a new adventure. To introduce you to life as I see it: one beautiful symphony.

A blog NOT about weight loss? Whaaa???

Okay, so if you are my friend on facebook, you know I've been taking guitar lessons the past few weeks (God bless Groupon and their 50%-ish off guitar lessons with Greg Arney). Turns out Greg couldn't take me, so he passed me off to George Woods (who by the way, doesn't update twitter, or his blog, or his calendar...but once you get to know him, that doesn't surprise you). It was quite possibly the best thing that Greg could have done for me.

I was a *little* disappointed because I had google-stalked the hell out of done my due diligence and researched Greg and knew NOTHING about George. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a good fit, and if you know me at ALL, you know I like to have all my duckies in a row. Way in advance. I was FREAKING OUT a little nervous.

So, my first lesson, I start learning MINOR chords (wha? I know!!) and by the end I felt like a freakin' rockstar. Okay, so I'm still, five weeks later, not even close to rockstar status, but I felt like I was going to learn SO much. Plus, George's suave "I'm so cool people take photos of me putting on a tie" headshots won't tell you this, but he's fucking hilarious. He's totally cool with my weird-quirky nerd sense of humor, and he also has no problem telling me to "shut the fuck up" (which, I thought about for a while: I don't think anyone has ever told me that to my face before). It's refreshing. For the record: that is not me giving you carte blanche to tell me to shut the fuck up.

I'm not a good student. I'm a book-learner and I don't like to do things if I don't do it right the first time. I'm a quiet guitar player. I don't want George (or anyone) to hear the pinging because my damn left pinky won't man up and put enough pressure on the string to make a proper sound. I'm nervous to play in front of anyone (EPIC stage fright), but aside from the occasional "shut the fuck up and play", he's really patient with me. He thinks I'm a fast learner and is really supportive, which, of course, makes the student-me feel awesome (until, of course, I massive fail the scale he JUST teaches me). My fingers don't always do what my brain says and that's frustrating to me, and then I nearly sever the tips of my fingers practicing so much because I want it to be right before I stop. I'm a terrible student, actually. But I try hard, and I really do want to learn.

So far I've learned some minor chords, Ain't No Sunshine (if you don't mind the pinging) and some funky scale that I don't remember the name of (we'll call this one a work in progress...it involves my left pinky in several places and we all know that's a source of frustration for me). I'm also learning Seabreeze by Tyrone Wells (which might be my most favoritest song of all time). It's got a ton of chords in it I don't know, but I'm not too horrible at the intro at the moment (and I get to use a capo!).

On a similar note, I have learned that if you're looking for guitar tabs and the guitar tabs have the wrong lyrics, chances are the tabs are wrong. I'm glad I know enough to figure that out before I learned the whole song wrong (because some guy named Feng blew up all the guitar tab sites with the WRONG tabs for Seabreeze). I ended up finding an old Youtube Video of Tyrone teaching people how to play Seabreeze. So, this spatially inept girl is learning by mimicking. I'm sure it'll be so easy. :-/

I just wanted to post something happy and positive, because honestly, right now, these lessons are what I REALLY look forward to these days. Although, I wonder if I could apply to be a sponsor child..."For only $xxx per month, you too can help sponsor a fledgling guitar player"...

Do my wrists look thinner to you?

(I don't condone weight loss drugs at all.  This commercial was just to prove my point later on.  I've never used this drug, I don't plan on using this drug, disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer.)

I definitely should have started this blog when I first decided the squish needed to go.  It was much more entertaining to hear me bitch about all the places I wanted to lose weight and where I actually was losing weight.  First of all, I really only want to lose two places: the back squish and the thigh squish.  I thought running and doing core exercises  would help with that, right?  Nope.  First place I lose weight?  My boobs.

Now, in high school, I was pretty tiny up top.  I was tiny everywhere, neck down, I could easily be confused for a boy.  I moved to Boston and I all the sudden got boobs.  No joke, one of my happiest moments was getting fitted for new bras at Vicki's and being told I was a D.  A D!!!  I won't lie, I dug the new girls.  I was squishy, but my ta-tas rocked.  ANYWAY.  I decided I needed to drop this handful of lbs, and started going to the gym, eating better, drinking less.  Soon I started noticing these awesome D bras I bought now had space in them.  My pants didn't fit better...but I was definitely noticing a loss in the ladies.

And it was a loss, let me tell you.  I'm barely a C now, and I STILL have this unpleasantness between my belly button and my knees.  What kind of cruel joke is that?  "Oh sure, Judith, we'll let you lose weight, but we'll take it from the one place you didn't want to lose any weight, and we'll just make you work even harder to lose it where you want to."  Evil weight loss bastards.

I'm not kidding. My ankles are thinner, my face is thinner, you obviously know what happened to the girls.  I even think my wrists are thinner, and yet I can't manage away these last chunks of jiggle.  It's a cruel cosmic joke.

On another note, I'm really missing bacon.

I want the sandwich, no bread, with waffle fries

We all have our weaknesses, right?  Mine is food.  I have an acute sense of smell, and good food just calls to me.  I travel for work and I make a conscious effort to seek out "the best" whatever I can find.  I even remember cities by "the best" something I've ever had.
For example:
Best peach: Pike St Market, Seattle, WA (and yes, I've been to Georgia)
Best margarita: Casa Rio, San Antonio, TX
Best guacamole: La Fonda hotel, Santa Fe, NM
Best steak: South Bay Grille, Kalispell, MT
Best mac and cheese: Mother's, Portland, OR
Best bacon: Martha's Vineyard, MA

I'm telling you, I could go on and on and on and on...
So, my weakness is food and I'm sitting here trying to do the Special K diet, which, let's face it, isn't going nearly as well as the first time I tried.  Damn food.  So maybe I won't lose the 6lbs they claim (or that I lost last time), but maybe I'll lose a little and at least be happy by 10/1.  I need to run more too. I should have gone this morning, but I didn't sleep well at all and was a lethargic mess when my alarm went off.

I think I'm just too busy.  I want to run, play guitar, sing in my a cappella group, find venues for the group, teach, work...just not enough hours in the day.  Not enough until I get a routine down, I suppose.

Tomorrow's plan:
6am run
6:30 shower and head to work
7:30am-4pm: work
4-5pm: head to class
5-6pm: teach
7-10pm: a cappella
11pm (hopefully): home

LONG day.
How do you all fit it all in?

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

So a few days ago I came across an article about how hard it is for women to accept compliments.  It struck a chord with me because I'm TOTALLY that woman.  "I like your dress" "Oh, I got it on the sale rack at White House Black Market".  "You don't need to lose weight, you look great!" "Well, I'm still 13lbs heavier than I was 5 years ago.", etc etc etc.

I mean, sure...some of this is modesty, but I really don't always think I deserve the compliments.  Sometimes, to me, simply saying "Thank you" for a compliment is the same as saying "Yeah, I know"...when I suppose that it isn't.  So what I tend to try to do is compliment the person back. But what if I can't?  Argh.  I don't know how to navigate the compliment waters.

For example: Today I'm starting the two-week Special K Challenge with a friend/coworker.  I've done the challenge before, and coupled with walking/running, I did lose 6lbs in 2 weeks.  Plus, the shakes are awesome and it's nice and flexible for me.  Anyway, I mentioned it last night with my a cappella group (because I may have also mentioned I pretty much single-handedly manhandled two bottles of chardonnay at a wedding on Saturday...I'm lucky I'm a fun drunk).  I nearly got bitch-slapped by the girl next to me saying I didn't need to lose anything.  The problem is, the weight is probably fine...it's the damn squish I hate so much.  So, I point it out my nice (shrinking) inner tube around my waist.  Why couldn't I have just said "Oh, well, thank you for the compliment, but I'm still going to try this challenge and see how it goes" or something along those lines?  I had to verbally bash myself, and I'm not quite sure why.

So, ladies, how do you accept compliments?  Do you accept them at all?  Are you like me and totally guilty of pointing out your flaws when someone doesn't even see them?

Conversely, guys, how does it make you feel when you compliment a woman and she brushes it off in the way  I described?

"You are mine and I shall call you Squishy"

I hate the word "fat".  Hatehatehate.  It sounds so gross and nasty.  I don't even like it in reference to bacon, and if you know me, you know that's saying a lot. So, if you hear me talk about "squish", I'm referring to fat.  I find that I can be more accepting of my curvy parts if they're "squishy" instead of "fatty".  Doesn't "squishy" sound better?  It sounds cute...like "I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy." (thank you, Finding Nemo).

In any case, I got a lot of positive feedback on my last post, so I'd be remiss to not mention it in this one.  One comment was pretty poignant...it's not about weight, it's about being toned and being happy with your body.  That should be true...it really should.  But if you're me, and you're this goal-oriented being that lives to see numbers change, then it is about weight.  I can't do this by saying "Oh, I think my jeans fit better today".  It's so subjective.  Maybe I think my jeans fit better because I really want them to, not that they really do.

Anyway, it occurred to me that I have this scale in my bathroom that's been collecting dust needs new batteries.  And guess what, it measures body squish.  I'm not quite sure how it does it, but it seems to work.  I mean, who am I to argue with it?  If it said I weighed 200lbs, I could dispute that, but if it says my body squish % is x number, how would I know it was wrong?  Anyway, I guess as long as it's consistent, that's a number I can work with, instead of using weight (because honestly, in the morning, I'm 1.6lbs away from my goal, and I know if I lose 1.6lbs I'm still not going to be happy).


So, I dusted off put new batteries in my body squish scale, and it says I'm 27.7% squish (Gah!).  A friend of mine who seems to know what he's talking about, thinks that 25% is an attainable goal for me by 10/1 (although, I'm horrified that more than 1/4 of me is squish, but looking in the mirror, I totally believe it).  So that's the new goal.  I guess this means no more bacon (or cheese, or yummy things from my guilty pleasures list) for me. :(

I actually found a really informative site in my "body squish education" endeavor: http://www.bmi-calculator.net

Okay, so based on this, I'm 136.6lbs and 27.7% squish (as of this AM). That means I'm 37.84lbs of squish, and  98.76lbs of rest of me (gah, that's horrifying, but what kind of weight loss blogger would I be if I didn't just put it all out there?).  So I want to get down to 25%...that's 132.91lbs.  That's a larger goal than my 135lbs, but it's going to be a healthier goal.  And after that, I can aim for the "Fitness Level" of 21-24%.  So, for all of you that balked at me screaming I need to lose weight, is this more acceptable? :)

My side goal is to run under 30:00 in my next 5K (9/25).  My first 5K in July was 31:37, so I need to pick up the pace quite a bit.  Hoping maybe the two goals together will reach themselves :)

On an up note, I did some yoga this morning and ran 1.33 miles.  I also did some ab work yesterday and the day before (I'm feeling it today).  I just need to buckle down and start doing this stuff every morning.  Or at least SOMETHING.  This squish isn't going to lose itself!

P. Sherman
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney

What do college students and celebrities have in common?

Since I've been writing this blog I've really been questioning why I'm all bound and determined to "get skinny (er)", when honestly, I'm within my normal range for BMI and people tell me all the time I don't need to lose weight.  First, when I look in the mirror, what I see is not something I like.  I can point out every place where I could use to "tone up".  But why the desire?  Why change when no one is telling me to but me?

I think yesterday I discovered one reason: I teach at a college.  Twice a week, I'm surrounded by skinny girls in shorts with 3inch inseams and tanks that don't show a hint of a muffin-top.  I used to be that girl...why am I not now?  Oh right...I'm OLDER.  I'm 13 years older than my youngest student.  GAH.  So not only am I older, but my body could never fit successfully into anything from Forever 21, Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, or any other retail store that keeps older clientele out by blaring the music and pumping copious amounts of cologne through the ventilation system.

This leads me to believe that this whole "30 is the new 20" is entirely not true.  Sure, I have more freedoms, I'm no longer in college, but I have to work my ass off 40 hours a week in addition to working my ass off at least an hour a night at the gym to look even close to what I looked like in college.  I'm starting to think they say that 30 is the new 20 to make those of us who are still single in our 30s feel better.  I still age and gain weight the same as someone in their 30s from the 40's, 50's, 60's.

Reason #2: Magazines.  Sometimes I swear it would be easier for me to find a man who has never seen a celebrity in a bikini than to diet/work off the lbs it would take to look like said celebrity in a bikini.  Remember that picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt at the beach that had everyone in an uproar about how horrible she looked?  Well, guess what...she's EXACTLY my size in that picture (alright...maybe I'm a couple of lbs heavier, but still...)

Seriously...that could be me from behind.  You know what I loved about her?  When that picture came out and all the bastard asshole men talked about how awful she looked, she came out and said she was happy with her body and everyone could shove it.

...And then she lost weight.  Of course that doesn't really say "I'm happy with how I look". She looks great, as the picture shows, but what does that say?  She was a size FOUR before, and people were up in arms.  She drops the weight and she looks amazing.  These are the lessons women and girls like me are being taught.

*disclaimer...this blog is about to take a turn since I just went searching for this "after" picture of JLH*

So, the site where I got this picture, http://ifitandhealthy.com/jennifer-love-hewitt-lost-weight/ ...I am HORRIFIED.  I read the article thinking they would tell me how she lost the weight, and it did (cardio and weights at the gym, 5 days a week (must be nice) and rice and fruit and veggies), but the article goes on to say that "she needs to do more".  Are you serious??  That "now" picture isn't good enough??

See?  This is what women are put up against daily.  We're programmed to think that we can't have sexy bodies if we aren't rail thin and look amazing in a bikini. It's terrible because I know I fell into it.  People do tell me I'm fine the way I am, but I look in the mirror and I see that I "need to do more".  The point is, it isn't just me telling me this.  It's everyone I see on television, from the newscasters to the TV shows to the movies, it's shitty-ass websites like the one above, all combined with a slight case of neurosis.

So here I sit, with my oatmeal and coffee (no sugar), thinking what I can pack for lunch that's lo-cal and healthy, and putting together a workout routine in my head for tonight at the gym.  I do want to be healthy, I do want to feel good after a good workout, but a lot of this, as a confession, is vanity.  When I'm in my 60s, I want to look back on my 30s and say "Damn...I had a badass body."  And, in my 30s, I want to say "Damn...I have a badass body".

That's going to leave a mark...

So, like most holidays, I considered Labor Day a calorie-free day.  Problem comes when the holiday is a "weekend" instead of just one day (a la Labor Day Weekend).

This past weekend I drove an average of 12 hours one-way to spend Saturday and Sunday with the fam in Ohio (and at Cedar Point).  I miss so many restaurants in Ohio that aren't in New England that I usually end up eating my way through my trip.  And honestly, there aren't enough meals in the day.  Arby's, Max and Erma's, Waffle House, Bob Evans, BW3's, Sonic...I could go on and on. 

Just thinking about what I ate over the weekend makes my tastebuds water and my stomach distend.  At least I split a lot of meals with a friend, right?  And my last dinner was a salad (covered in BW3's honey BBQ sauce), so that's good, right?  That totally negates my complete inability to say no to anything fried (cheese curds, breadsticks filled with cheese, chicken tenders) or in a martini or beer glass (or bottle, or can).
Only thing that can make this a perfect storm is if I spend 1/3 of my time this weekend in a car.  Oh wait...I did. :-/  If only there was a way to work out while driving.  My right foot should be solid, though, since my rental car didn't have cruise control.  Seriously, it had satellite radio, but no cruise control.  Someone explain that to me.

I did walk quite a bit at Cedar Point, though.  And my death grip on the lap and chest bars on the roller coasters should have really worked out my arm muscles.  Maybe it won't be so bad...

Good news is, I weighed myself this morning and only gained 0.9lbs.  Bad news is, I weighed myself in the morning.  If you're a girl, you know you weigh more at night than in the morning.  I guess the point is that I want to hit a specific number because I'm goal-oriented, but when I look in the mirror, I still don't love what I see...and I'm not sure another 4.4lbs will help (other than make my clothes fit better).

So, goal weight in 4.4lbs.  That's 1.1lbs a week for the next 4 weeks.  Still doable, but I need to get my butt up early and off to the gym.  Does anyone want to do housework, work on lesson plans, teach, practice guitar, go to guitar lessons, go to a cappella rehearsals, and go to work for me while I spend my day at the gym?  Would be a huge help.

I would like a little wine with that whine, please

Hi, my name is Judith, an emotional eater and drinker.  There, I've said it.  If anything is stressing me out, has me upset, or sucks up all open space in my brain, I compensate by eating.  Even if something goes well, I want to celebrate with a glass (or three) of wine. 

Somehow something switches in my brain and I go from "Wow, I'm full" to "Those 90-calorie cheese sticks need to be eaten" when I have something on my mind (I also need to work on "just because they're 90 calories doesn't mean I can eat them all in one sitting).  If I'm home, and it's in the fridge or pantry, you might as well consider it eaten if I've had a bad day.  I don't know what it is, but if I'm struggling, my stomach suddenly develops this endless pit that I must try to fill with all types of food.

Normally, I don't eat that much.  When I was younger, if I felt full, I felt nauseous. I was instantly able to stop eating the minute my stomach felt even a little full.  Still, I rarely finish a sandwich, every dinner out is also lunch the next day...it's just all this SNACKING and DRINKING when I feel out of control of my life.  It's got to stop.

My guilty pleasures:
Cheese
Bacon
Burgers
Starbucks (although I've considerably reduced this one)
Soda (same..trying to get myself to like flavored soda water.  It's been a long process)
Anything gummy
Alcohol (any and all...I'm an equal opportunity drinker)

How do I stop it?
Um, I don't know.  I guess I just have to have the mental fortitude to realize that eating when my emotions are involved doesn't do anything for me.  It doesn't solve the problem that's getting me to eat.  Eventually, even, I feel worse because I feel like a huge balloon after downing that pint of Ben and Jerry's, bag of Doritos, more than one serving of honey roasted peanuts, and bottle of Pinot Noir.

But it's all sooo gooood.

And I still hate running.